Relationships are an Important part of Life. Whether this be Friendships, Lifelong Partners, Work Colleagues and Acquaintances.
Learning to Establish these Relationships in Positive, Constructive ways can be Tricky.
Here I teach you How to have Positive, Happy and Constructive Relationships in all areas of your Life
Often leaving us feeling that it may be Easier to just be alone!! So Let’s Look at Healthy Ways that You can Enjoy Relationships
Without them having a Negative Affect on Your Health or Well being
The fact of the matter is that Relationships are a necessary part of your life. To have the understanding that relationships are necessary without you becoming needy.
What is important is to establish a Positive and Happy Relationship with YOU!!! Loving every aspect of you and your life. Understanding what makes you tick. Recognizing and respecting your feelings, emotions, what you want for and with your life. Being Happy with – Where you been, Where you are and Where you want to be: Most importantly is to be happy in the NOW!!
By doing all of this it will help you to set some Boundaries and Understanding with your Loved ones and other people in Your Life
Always to Remember that none of us are Perfect and to Aim for Perfection is Disastrous. But to aim for Love and Understanding is Essential for a Happy, Healthy Life.
So What do I mean by Boundaries?
- Understanding what is expected of you and what you expect from someone else.
- Knowing what you will accept and will not accept when it comes to how people speak to you.
- How far you will allow them into your personal space and how far they will allow you into their personal space.
As humans it is very easy as we get caught up with living life, working our chosen job or career that we tend to forget what our needs and others needs are and what our role is in fulfilling these needs.
The first step is to know what your role is and your commitment and what you expect from you and in the workplace what your company expects from you so that you can best fulfill your position successfully.
Another important aspect is to understand our own emotions and what makes us feel secure, comfortable, happy and most of all productive. So that when evaluating how much you engage with a fellow work mate or allow them into your personal space this will help to clarify these decisions for you, which in turn will help you to function more effectively plus enjoy your work much better.
Establishing and Maintaining Boundaries
An individual’s professional boundaries can be defined in terms of a job description, as long as it clearly outlines basic responsibilities and reporting relationships. However, many times job descriptions define work responsibilities in terms that are too broad and general. In such cases, specific clarification of an individual’s duties and responsibilities will be required before an effective and efficient workplace can be created.
Your professional boundaries become more clearly defined when you can answer all of these questions:
- Who gives you your assignments?
To whom do you report?
Who gives you feedback?
Who sets your work priorities?
How are your company and client personal information kept secure?
Treating Staff or Work Colleagues Fairly
This is to establish your own boundaries, not allowing positive or negative feelings to influence your decisions?
When professional boundaries and priorities have been clearly defined, it’s very likely that a group can function effectively, even in the absence of its leader. If everyone on your team understands what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, and then team members will feel safe in their roles. A smooth functioning organization is a tangible demonstration of their team leader’s commitment to their success, which creates trust in leadership. It is the responsibility of every team leader to set the tone of the group by clearly defining acceptable and unacceptable workplace behaviour. An effective leader understands that failing to define boundaries, having no boundaries, or having inappropriately rigid boundaries can have an unfavorable impact on their organization and employees. In some cases boundaries need to be firm. For example, lying, stealing, or verbally or physically abusing others is never allowed. It may sound as if the responsibility to create a smooth functioning organization falls only upon the team leaders; however every team member has a role to play as well. It is the responsibility of every individual team member to be willing to speak up to a colleague or supervisor and clearly define their problem and help find a resolution that works for everyone.
Another important area that should be negotiated is interpersonal boundaries, because professional and interpersonal boundaries substantially impact workplace productivity and the quality of social environment. Interpersonal boundary parameters include:
Tone in Your Voice
The attitude and approach co-workers use with each other.
The ability to focus on work objectives even with people you doesn’t like or with whom you are having personal conflict.
The ability to effectively set limits with others who have poor boundaries.
Clearly defining the consequences when a boundary is violated and sticking to it.
Boundaries will have no meaning if your actions don’t back up your words.
Where to Start
Ideally, workplace boundaries are carefully negotiated in an open discussion about responsibilities, goals, and priorities prior to starting a new job or beginning a project. Even if this type of understanding wasn’t reached beforehand, it’s never too late to improve your interactions with your team members. Here are three core skill areas to help you get started:
1. Know your limits: what you can do well within the allotted time frame.
Don’t exaggerate your ability by overselling it. Give accurate estimates. Delivering a good product on time will improve your credibility, while missing deadlines or delivering a substandard product will only hurt your reputation.
2. Tactfully and openly communicate about goals and limitations.
Don’t try to undersell or misrepresent your ability. Underselling artificially prevents you from being able to demonstrate your professional skills, which might affect your career advancement. When discussing your limitations, focus on what you want and what you are willing to do to get it. Keep your focus on your positive intentions; ask for help when it’s needed to ensure good quality work; actively engage in problem solving, and don’t complain about the problem. Ensure that others are receiving the message you intended by asking for feedback when it’s not forthcoming.
3. be available to discuss differences and reach agreements.
Reflect back your understanding of the other person’s needs, interests, and concerns. Attempt to negotiate win-win solutions.
Establishing boundaries and priorities go hand in hand because they both help manage interpersonal relationships in the workplace. Together they go a long way toward establishing productive work environments based on trust. Competent and credible leaders understand these principles and consistently model them for their staff.
Grazly M.S., LMFT, J., Is that the reason I get abused? Learn how to create and
Maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships.
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Robin & Associates, David, Making Workplaces Work Better: Exploring the inner Frontier, Parts 1-3, [http://www.abetterworkplace.com/boundaries.html]
Sabey, M., Gafner G., (1996, September) Boundaries in the workplace Health Care Supervisor, 15(1), 36-40 Veterans Affair Medical Center, Tucson, AZ, PMID: 101059638, [PubMed – indexed for Medline].
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