Don’t Drown trying to save others, isn’t about literally letting someone drown. Its about life, when a loved one, friend or colleague is having a rough time and you want to help. It is important here to remember that it is always great to help where you can, but to also remember that you aren’t responsible for what they do or their life. You have worked through your life to build success, overcoming challenges and made significant changes to accomplish this. You have this wealth of knowledge and experience that you want to share when your family, friends or sometimes even worked colleagues are facing similar challenges, yet they just don’t seem to want to take it on board or even listen to you. What do you do? This is what I share with you in this article – How you can plant the seeds, share your knowledge but not get caught up in the struggles and drama. At time having to distance yourself to reclaim your own sanity and happiness.
“People will Learn more from your Example, than What you Say!” Lead by example
Keys to Being There for Others
Friends, Family, Colleagues & Even Strangers will Learn More by – What You Do, in Comparison to What You Say! ~ It is important that you empower & support People by – Sharing your Knowledge/Skills ~ “Not to Do for Them – What they are Able to Do for Themselves“
The Key Ingredient in maintaining Emotional Stability, Positive Relationships & Balance lies in –
Learning – How to Care & Be there for your family & friends without becoming all caught up in their struggles, not taking responsibility or control of their lives. As this will cause emotional turmoil, aggravation, emotional imbalance and often seeing the ending of a relationship. Not saying that there won’t be times that this may well happen, especially when the person needing the help and support refuses with the situation becoming very toxic. It’s about not becoming so absorbed in their struggles that you lose the essence of you, your values and who you are. As this not helpful to either party.
How Not to Drown in Someone Else’s Struggles
Identifying the Circumstances
- Each of you have people in your life that just seem to Struggle with Life
- Often blaming everything and everyone, instead of looking at how to work past the problem.
- Everything that can go wrong does.
- Because you are a caring person feelings of sadness, sympathy and an eagerness to help come over you.
- How can you help, what can you do?
- These people can be friends, work colleagues, acquaintance’s and even family members. Sometimes even our own children.
You’ve Been There & Know you Can Help!
You know what it is like to overcome hurdles, obstacles, great pain and move on to happier lives where you have risen above and learnt from these experiences in your life. So eager to see these people being able to do the same as you. You go about sharing your knowledge, you help them out physically, emotionally: Yet to no avail.
You feel helpless, overwhelmed, somehow inadequate because you haven’t been able to help this person or people. Wondering what you have done wrong or what more could you do or have done: Guess what – NOTHING Yes- NOTHING more: the ball is in their court so to speak. You will find for your own sanity and to prevent this from having a negative effect on your life, health and wellbeing. You will need to distance yourself, not becoming involved each time they call or cry out for help.
This may well seem harsh, but for you to have any positive effect on this person’s or persons life it is vitally important. Now I am not going to promise you that you will have a positive effect on their life. But I know for a fact that it is not going to help either of you if you drown in the process of it all. This will happen if you don’t put boundaries into place and emotionally detach yourself from the situation.
What I mean by Setting Boundaries
Boundaries don’t have to be communicated verbally, they can be set by you within the realm of the decisions you make as to what you are prepared to tolerate without causing yourself discomfort or distress. An example: You will not tolerate someone yelling, swearing or someone being verbally abusive to you. So you will walk away, hang up the phone. You might say before doing this, that you won’t take being spoken to like this or you may choose to say nothing. This is where trusting your gut lies.It’s important to remember never make a verbal or even physical response if you are feeling upset or angry. It is better then to say nothing and allow the situation to diffuse
3 Keys to Setting Boundaries
- Understanding what is expected of you and what you expect from someone else.
- Knowing what you will accept and will not accept when it comes to how people speak to you or behave towards you.
- How far you will allow them into your personal space and how far they will allow you into their personal space.
So What Can You Do?
Keep Building Your Life: Keep Rising above your Challenges
- Lead by Example: People will learn more by you paving the way, allowing them to Rise above their Challenges without Criticism or Judgement at their pace.
- There are Choices to Make: As do each one of us, the people whom are facing challenges within their life, have two choices either they will learn and decide to change their life. Believing if you can do it then so can they, or they won’t and continue on. This is where it can be difficult especially when it comes to family, your adult children because you love them and don’t want to see them go through these difficult times alone and you want to see them happy, rising above them. All you can do is your Best! Pray for them! Then continue with your life without feeling guilty or ashamed of where you are because you have worked through your challenges.
- Guess what though – That decision is entirely up to them, but you are not going to help them or yourself by continuing to be involved in their dilemmas.
- Continue to Send Loving Thoughts: Never Stop Loving them, Believing in their abilities – Allowing them to follow their path without intervention just visual guidance by following your path.
- Delegate: Delegation isn’t just for the Corporate World it also works within your Personal World and Lives.
- Remember the biblical saying: “Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day: “Teach a man to fish and you will feed him for Life”
Obviously this doesn’t matter whether you are man, woman or child. Share your knowledge
Encourage, Praise and Teach where you can ,Then to leave the outcome in the hands of God and the Person Involved