A Letter of Love to your Adult Child/Children: Bridging the Gap
A Parents Love Never Dies Only Grows Stronger & Deeper with Time!
Parenting is Difficult, Challenging & Rewarding in Ways beyond Comprehension
Parenting is the most difficult, possibly the most rewarding, yet tormenting roles of a lifetime. And it takes a lifetime to unfold. You would have heard the saying – “That it is Never too Late to have a Happy Childhood”. Well it is never too late to share and continue building a positive relationship with your children/parents.
The Love you have for your children, no matter how old they become is indescribable , You Caring for them is straight from the Heart, Always striving for what is Best. These tiny miracles, grow into children, teenagers then to become adults.
You have spent these formative years building and developing your life, in the hope for this to be a strong and firm foundation for them to grow from. So now you have come to the time when your children are now adults and this seems to be the most challenging time of all.
Continuing and establishing a positive relationship with them, realizing that they are now their own people with their own path to follow.
Yet still wanting to share your life and being a part of their life.
What do you say to them that you just haven’t had a chance to?
This is what I would say!
“To my Dear Adult Child,
It may seem strange that we as your parents are writing this letter to you. It is our hope when you have finished reading it that you will understand the reason.
Both your Mum and I, love you very much and we are very proud of you. Perfection as parents is never achievable, because “Perfection” is a myth. Throughout your life we have always worked at doing our best in providing you with love and a firm foundation so you could go on to build your life.
There is so much more I wish we could have shared with you.
To tell you what it feels like to fall in love and to marry. The indescribable joy that is felt when you came into the world. How to work through the difficult and challenging times. How these can build love rather than to destroy it. How to be your own person, following your dreams whilst sharing and supporting your loved ones dreams. Enjoying each other’s personal growth. This is what we want to share with you.”
What a Parent Truly wants for their children-
1: Faith. That you are a child of God who loves you, no matter what. Stay true to yourself and always to be loving, kind, respectful and warm to one another. Staying devoted to being honest, true and forgiving yourself for your mistakes. To learn and grow from them.
2: Values and to follow a Moral Compass. To know and demonstrate the difference between what is right and what is wrong. To remember true wealth and success comes from serving others. To never lose touch of values that serve you and others well.
3: Education. Education is not just about what you learn at school or university. There is also life education. Combine the two for a lifetime of learning, growing, opening your mind to all the wonders of the world and people.
4: Work Ethic. Nothing in life is truly free and there is no easy path to financial wealth. Work doesn’t just remain in the work place. To establish strong, meaningful and loving relationships takes work. Anything that is worthwhile isn’t easy and has a work component whether that be physically, mentally (changing your thoughts) or emotionally (understanding your feelings and moving away from Anger, Jealousy, Bitterness and Envy to feelings of Love, Compassion, Understanding and Kindness).
5: Love. There will be many people who come into your life. But there will be very few that you truly love and possibly only one that you will truly be in-love with. Treat people with respect, dignity and a kind attitude. Look for the true inner essence of a person than their outward appearance. Love yourself not in a egotistically way but in a way that you care for yourself, nourishing your body with healthy food, nourishing your mind with positive words of love, encouragement, empathy and understanding. Build a relationship with yourself as you would like to build with someone else.
6: Responsibility. Is about being – response –able. With every action comes a consequence, with every consequence there is an action. When your response is unreasonable or attempting to place blame or become angry. Then this adds stress to the situation making it impossible to find a solution. Learning to respond in a manner that is looking to solve a problem or to move away from the drama. Requires you to look at what outcome will be better and more positive in the long run.
7: Admit your mistakes. It is a known fact that everyone makes mistakes, you are human. The secret here is not to beat yourself up, recognize and if need be admit the mistake so that you will then learn from it. Looking at how you can do things differently next time.
8: Friendship. Is first about being true to yourself. How you want to be and how you want to live your life. When you do this it then becomes easier to be true to your friends. It is important to have friends who have strong values, they value themselves, they value life then they will also value you and your friendship with them.
Good friends don’t lie to one another, they tell them the truth, unless of course it is something that is of no concern or that you feel will hurt them. Then you do not lie, you just do not respond.
If a friend goes down the wrong path becoming self-destructive or destructive toward others then do not follow and stand your ground if not verbally but silently that you are committed to being a stable person who isn’t prepared to compromise your values.
There will be only a few good friends that will stay during the course of your lifetime. These will be those who are genuine, honest, loyal and committed to being interested in your life and wanting you to be a part of their life.
9: To Be Real: Be Yourself. Be the authentic you, don’t pretend to be better than you are or worse than you are, be where you are. The key to inner peace and happiness is to be yourself even if the world is constantly attempting to make you something else.
Struggling with my Heart
To say that when you are going through struggles my heart goes out to you, wanting to pick you up and carry you into safety, but I know that I can’t. When you are Happy my heart fills with Joy. You never leave my thoughts or my life, I am always praying for you to find strength, courage, love and wisdom.
“With all our Love”