A Child’s Guide for Loving Your Parents:
3 Keys Embracing Love, Respect & Understanding!
Hello Kids – Big and Small
Parents, need your Love, Respect, and Understanding in their lifetime journey to be the best parents they can be. Embracing love, respect and understanding your parents, to enable you to have a loving and balanced relationship. Parenting is a two-way connection between Adult/Child: Child/Adult with positive and constructive support from Family, Friends, Neighbours and Community. To build a Healthy, Happy & Strong family you need caring, loving, positive people in your lives to bring balance, harmony and guidance for your lifelong journey ahead.
“The Greatest Gift a Parent and Child can Give One Another is a Sense of Pride – In Sharing one another’s Accomplishments, Learning and Growing from any Mistakes!“
A Parents Love Never Dies
It’s important to know that parenting is a all-encompassing factor of life, taking up every waking moment of the day and sometimes even the night. Each Parent has their own unique way, set of values and beliefs of how they want to raise their children. For the most part wanting to be the best parents they can be. Wanting to share improved ways of building a happy and purposeful life together.
One of the missed areas to help Build Healthy, Loving and Happy Families is with supporting children with the understanding of how to be loving and supportive to their parents. Children you are people within your own right, for a family to remain connected for a lifetime it will take support from one another, understanding, forgiveness, empathy, communication and commitment with each person working together.
Parents are your Core Foundation for Life
I remember listening to Louise Hay, (A self-help motivational author and speaker) saying – “No Matter whether you have the Best Parents in the World or the Worst Parents” They are your parents and how you choose to learn from them is within you. An interesting belief is that you have chosen your and I believe you have been given them for a “Divine Reason”.
Before even hearing this I was fortunate enough to be aware of this. I also learnt as my life unfolded, that I could learn as much if not more, from their weaknesses, as I could from their strengths. Sometimes the most challenging parents are the ones you will learn the most from. Always to remember that it is in rising above the challenges in life that will build courage, strength, love and empathy.
Parents and Grandparents are the core foundation of life, as is the rest of your family history. When you are young you are completely oblivious to this, but as you come of age into your adulthood, it is important to tap into this history, to give you a clearer picture of their life, challenges and circumstances.
How does this help you; you might ask? It can help you to avoid some of the pitfalls, have an appreciation of how life was then and how it is now. In coming to an understanding of these circumstances, will help you in understanding, some of the quirks, annoying traits of your parents. Learning to love them for who they are and not how you would like them to be.
To understand that if there are areas of how you would like your life to be different from that of your parents, then implement positive changes that you can implement into your life. I was fearful of becoming like my Mum, as she didn’t have a very happy life and in my teenage years became quite abusive.
In wanting to be different I went for counselling and the best advice I received was to overcome this fear, was to be as different to my Mum as possible. Making note of the areas that I wanted to change and implementing the necessary action. I didn’t only become different in the way I built my life, but I became more understanding and accepting of my Mum. To where I built a loving relationship with her in my adult years.
3 Keys to Loving your Parents:
Embracing Love, Respect & Understanding
1: 10 Steps to Embracing Love
However, as I say this I know there are many children whom through no fault of their own do get fostered or adopted because their birth parents for whatever reasons aren’t able to cope or who have passed away. The support that I am sharing with you here can still be applied to your fostered or adopted parents.
Loving your parents isn’t always easy, as life goes, nothing worthwhile is easy. There will be times when you will not always like your parents for whatever reasons, it is important during these times not to let these feelings overrule your love for them, to understand that you are your own person, you can be how you want to be and who you want to be.
1: Cut them a little slack: Everyone has moments where they are not themselves for whatever reason. Believing that they have and are doing their best. Forgiveness is an important key here. We all say and do things that we shouldn’t or behave in ways that we regret. It is in about making positive changes and developing a positive attitude toward your parents that will make all the difference.
2: Not to let the past to affect the present or the future. This is where it is important not to let negative experiences of the past take-away the positive, and enjoyable experiences that you shared or will be able to share. “Not to let the thoughts in your head, destroy the love in your heart”.
3: Being there for each other without taking advantage of one another. This can easily happen within families, maybe expecting too much, not taking responsibility for yourself. All can take a negative toll on a relationship. Always to Remember – “That the power of positive change, lies within you”.
4: Appreciate the good and bad, and how you can use positive change to override the bad experiences.
5: Love is a two-way street, as is building a positive relationship. The majority of parents have this ability of unconditional love for their children. It is important as an adult child to reciprocate this. And if you didn’t still be KIND! Love grows, with time, opening your heart to all the is good.
6: Perfection is a Myth. Neither you or your parents are perfect, and you don’t need to be. What fuels love is honesty, integrity, gratitude, dependability and commitment. Everyday each one of us, are improving in some way. To understand that none of us are perfect, is what will help you to not dwell on their imperfections.
7: No matter how tough things get, NEVER let a day go by without saying “I love you”. Make your parents a priority, you were and more than likely are still a priority in your parent’s life, so give them the same.
8: Relationship Changes, in the process of becoming an adult. There will be changes, a distancing to allow time and space to Build your Life your Thoughts and your Identity. Always to remember to share your life and experiences with your parents, when possible. You are not always going to agree with one another, that is normal. Don’t be rude or make fun of them.
9: Ask Questions: This isn’t about bringing up bad memories, it is about caring about their feelings, what is going on in their lives. If they appear to be not themselves. It is important to ask them, something like this – “Mum/Dad, you don’t seem yourself, is everything OK”? It could be a good time to give them a hug, take them out for a meal or just be with them.
If you are a child and don’t feel comfortable to ask questions then you might go and read a book, play on outside, sing your favourite song. Just giving them some space until they are feeling better. A secret to asking questions, is to not make it an integration but as a way of understanding, caring and learning.
10: Listen: It is important to listen to your parents and what they have to say. You may not always agree, but listening is an important part of learning. You will learn more in life by taking time to listen more than you talk. This can be “Tricky”, but has great benefits for learning and building happy, positive relationships. Consider their point of view, even if at the time it may not gel with you.
It can seem at times like your parents don’t understand, this can lead to negativity and sometimes arguments with them. It is important to understand that your parents are people, human in fact, knowing what it is like to be young and also what it is like to be old. It is in understanding this that will enable you to be respectful toward them. Always treat your parents with kindness, it is normal for your parents to be concerned for you, your health, wellbeing and life choices, as you are the most important person in their world, apart from each other.
3: Understanding your Parents
It can be difficult to understand your parents and their perspective on life. As mentioned, they have been where you are, they know what it is like and they also know what it is like to as old, as they are. However, you don’t know what it is like to be where they have been or where they are now. Times are different, your parents had different challenges to what you have today and vica versa.
The important thing to remember here is that your parents love you and want very much to be a part of your life but can find it challenging because they don’t want to interfere or take control, they have to let you learn your lessons, and yet not lose their relationship with you. It is important when working toward understanding your parents better, that you talk with them about their lives, their opinions and make time to spend together.
The benefits of making the time to understand your parents will help to improve your relationship, you will learn about them, giving you the opportunity to enjoy their company.
Links to Support Articles
Read Next: Bridging the Gap:
What an Awesome Day when you
Realize Your Parents are Human!
Bridging the Gap – Reconnecting to the People you Love & Who Love You!
Master a Life of Optimal Health: Happiness & Vitality
Professional Evidence -Based Knowledge
Receive Weekly Insights & Guidance
To Live your Best Life
Don’t Miss the Next Issue!
I invite you to subscribe to my Free Weekly Newsletter that my clients, subscribers and members have been looking forward to each week for over 20 years.
What People say – “Thank you, Julie I find your Newsletter gives me inspiration to stay on the path”. “Julie, I don’t know how you knew I needed this information”.
I design my Newsletters to share insights, guidance and strategies that will help with every day and serious health issues, that people have presented me with over the years, seeking advice and what they can do.