3 Steps: Learning How to Cope when A Friendship or Relationship Consumes your Peace of Mind & Emotional Health is Essential for Building Peace of Mind, Emotional Balance & Positive Relationships
Earlier this year, I had to come to a difficult decision to let go of a friendship. I had been supporting. This person had been going through a tough time over the past couple of years.
As I began to see that this was effecting the way I thought and felt about my life and my health, I realized that I could not be a part of this person’s life. I could see that for one, I was not helping and could not help them, as they were not making any positive moves or changes into making their situation any better. And it was affecting my own mental and emotional health by engaging with them. So, I made the decision to step away. No words were spoken, I just became unavailable.
1: What You Learn When You Give Something Up
I have learnt during time that when you give something up, that has been, or will do you harm if you continue, e.g., eating the wrong foods, consuming too much alcohol, smoking and begin to include healthy changes such as exercise, just having the occasional glass of wine, quit smoking, only eating healthy foods that it makes such significant, positive difference with these changes, that you do not want to go back to old negative habits.
It is the same with a friend or even a relative that is all consuming and not making positive changes or maybe treats you disrespectfully.
Once I let them go, I almost feel better overnight. I realized how much of my mental and emotional energy they had been consuming. There were also physical effects that I noticed an improvement with: I slept better. I ate healthier food. I became more active and engaged in getting back to putting action into the things that I wanted to do. I came to realize that my relationship to this person was a form of addiction because I thought I was helping. But instead, not only wasn’t I helping, but it was also tearing me apart.
2: Protective Screening
Which is another way of saying that no matter what stage of your life you are at, it is important way of setting boundaries. I’ve always had trouble saying “no,” particularly when it comes to personal friendships and family. But lately, I have been learning how to say no. It isn’t easy. At times, I have been overcome by feelings of guilt, shame, and sadness, even anger. But once I realized the reasons I have said no, comes a sense of relief. I still help with family and friends where I can, but I am more specific and do not engage in any drama or negativity.
But there comes a time when a person refuses to help themselves, accept any well-informed advice or support from you that it is necessary to step back and out of the relationship as it has a detrimental effect on your mental and emotional health. It also without realizing it, has a detrimental effect on your relationship with them.
3: Taking Time for Self-Care
I came to realize that the most important and best thing to do is to take care of myself. Not to be self-absorbing but to include natural health support, excluding pharmaceutical medications for my health, diet, exercise, to engaging with likeminded people. To change my self-talk, into “I can do this” as in comparison to putting up blockages that would prevent me moving forward and enjoying my life. The difference this made to my emotional health, my physical health and my relationships was just wonderful.
“It is Not up to Us to Heal someone elses Life, it is up to them”
“Be a Positive Example, Living your Best Life”
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